Obama and Bush

Q) How is Obama related to Bush?
A) Obama is always beating around the Bush.

Height of equality

Q) What is the height of equality of sexes?

A) A girl named John and/or a boy named Janet.

Sitcom laughter

If you watch any popular sitcom, you cannot miss the laughter in the background. This occurs whenever there is a joke, which is very often. I wonder what they are trying to accomplish. Is it a hint that people watching it on TV are not intellectually equipped to figure out the occurrence of a joke? Or, is it playing on the psychology of the audience, giving them the impression that the sitcom is really funny, when it probably is not? Whatever the reason, can someone cut-off the laughter, please?

Dentist recommended toothbrush

Dentists make a good chunk of their money cleaning people's teeth. That makes me wary of toothbrushes that are recommended by dentists. Assuming that dentists do not derive pleasure shooting themselves on their feet, why will they want to jeopardize a potential source of their income? If the toothbrushes that they recommend are really that good, and cuts down on cleaning-related visits to dentists, that is not a good situation for the dentists. I have decided not to buy a dentist recommended toothbrush!

Single and married?

Blonde: "Every single guy I meet, turns out to be married."

Tit for tat

Some of the political debates you watch on TV are funny. I was watching one today.

The Republican camp said something along the lines of "If Howard Dean keeps speaking, it is good for Republican party. Because, everytime Dean makes a statement, Bush's approval rating goes up".

I was like, "Hmm, that is a good one. I am sure the Democrat camp does not have an answer to that."

To my surprise, pat came the response from the Democrats. It went something like, "In that case, Dean has to speak a lot because Bush's approval ratings have a long way to go before it can reach any reasonable level."

Mysterious allergy

Did you hear about the guy whose allergies magically disappeared whenever he went on a date with his girl friend? He concluded that he was so compatible with his girl friend that she had the power to even remove his allergies.

Little did he realize that the more time he spent with his girl friend, the less time he spent in his room. As you might have guessed, his dust-filled room was a safe haven for allergen.

Duh?

Two-legged humor

One form of humor is created when someone tries to convey something, but ends up saying something else. Here are two such instances from the recent world cup soccer commentary.

1. "He is a two-legged player."
What the commentator intended to say: He is equally adept at playing with his right foot or his left. Something of the equivalent of ambidexterous when it comes to hands.

2. "He never stops giving up."
The intended meaning, well you must have guessed, was "He never gives up".

On a side note, if a girl tells you that she cannot be seeing two people at the same time, what she really means might be the time of the day. In other words, she might not be seeing X and Y at 12:30 pm, but she might be seeing X at 12:30 pm and Y at another convenient time. Howzzaattt?